Oh, Hello! glad to see you're all here! As most of you know i never left and i "try" to do practice and post something every weekend.
i try to study other artists on deviantart and try to get into their minds of artists and harness their artistic power. Sadly i lack mind reading and thus fail dismally. Its not helped that my main career is in IT and I've been very busy and stressed at work. Not to mention that any spare time i have is spent doing stuff not art related, like studying for IT exams for personal development or sating my gaming addiction.
Admittedly the IT exam i'm studying for is not difficult, but when they're microsoft ones, they're full of bullshit and i hate studying for work. i don't know why i procrastinate when it comes to art. i should be soaking everything up like a sponge and getting stuck in, but i seem to treat it like some sort of luxury in small bursts. Dreaming for greater stuff but not daring to push the boundaries further. Perhaps at times (i.e most of the time) when i do art it feels like i'm bashing my head against a wall or polishing turds that i'm tempted to just toss away. its normally compounded when i don't see results or i don't learn anything from them and feels like i'm wasting my time. my other problem is probably that before i attempt something i MUST have clear cut information, methods, solutions or techniques and if i don't get something or see it as not useful i discard it very quickly.
But the other question is, do i want praise? meh, i'm not sure about you guys but i feel incredibly guilty about it. When i show my work colleagues my work and they praise it, i feel very uneasy. The example i use is that people think i've built a wonderful home to live in and don't know that its a deathtrap filled with skeletons, poorly measured dimensions and the whole thing is just waiting to collapse. hell, my manager offered me the opportunity to draw the images for the IT Systems status (good, bad, red alert etc) for the new intranet. i turned him down pretty quickly stating that my skill was no where at a level that deserved to be pasted on the systems or for public viewing.
Thought of the day:
"Life is one great journey. Shame about the destination"